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Review and fix any errors. Add the recommendations I listed below

Recommendations for specific areas to address in your paper:

1. Work to tighten up the abstract. Make sure it’s clear to the reader what you plan to argue in your paper.

2. Work on your first paragraph.  Notice how long it is.  Your paper should include a formal introduction that tells the reader what you plan to address in your paper. 

3. Be sure to include a strong thesis statement that tells the reader exactly what you plan to argue in your paper.

4. Be sure to have a topic sentence for each paragraph so that your argument flows from start to finish.  Many of your paragraphs are too long, which means they contain multiple ideas/topics.  Review then and separate out the main ideas into smaller paragraphs.

5. Create a strong conclusion that restates your thesis statement and then summarizes your findings.

6. I recommend that you focus on religious intolerance and oppression in the United States rather than across the globe.  Be sure to link your paper ot what we have been studying in our class about the United States.

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